Be A Guy

Posts Tagged ‘Beauty’

Creepy Old Guy- update

In Mobile Updates on June 26, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Old Guy Tricks

I notice today, my ability to hear is inversely proportionate to the expanse of the cashier‘s cleavage. I guess I’m not looking at her lips. And I’m not turning my good ear entirely her way. Now that I’ve noticed this; I’ll have to check if I try for leans forward & repeats. I had no problem with the guy at the Bodega this morning. The brown-skinned cashier at the bank with the cafe au lait rolling praries and the  red-head with freckled bonny braes at the coffee bar had to holler to make themselves understood.
6/29 Update. I’m definitely a COG… Dash into Kohls last night while talking with a friend via the phone bud in my good ear. The cashier is a lovely girl, but she is little Miss 5×5 in a high neck blouse and I have no problem whatsoever understanding her and the woman on the other end of the phone remarks “guess she wasn’t much of a looker” .
I check my sex appeal by shooting myself in the foot- an inane comment is the litmus test.
If she chuckles, I’m a harmless old guy.
If she shrinks back, I’m just weird, but I might have been interesting.
I’m like a dog chasing a bus, don’t really want to catch it so this toe in the water works.
I scout what the people, on the train, are reading.
Until I saw the SNL Mother’s Day skit, I thought there was a female surge in Civil War lit. Shades of Gray indeed, one woman’s Victorian Romantic fantasy is gel shot picnics, another’s is a rattan spanking.

OR with my luck………..

20120626-214124.jpg

Watching Her Walk in Her Sexual Power seems to suggest that a woman showing off her stuff is empowering if not an actual victory…

But if Nathan Graziano notices a woman from Yoga Pants Nation strutting her stuff he’s a pervert, or maybe just confused.

LIRR Observations, Chic to Freak

In Fleshed Out Tweets, Street Seens on August 16, 2011 at 10:22 pm

08/15

There was a young woman opposite me on the train this morning w/ a unique nail style. I believe it’s French Polish when the tips are white? The different part was the moons at the base above the cuticle were painted black. In her world I guess that’s chic- from my vantage it looks like a blood blister from banging her finger with a hammer. Is this outside her experience?

08/16

There is a 300# woman squatting, in a sun dress, and pissing on the train platform and I’m too much of a gentleman to photo it.

[I glance up from my paper and see her, waddling down the platform, pause hike up her dress and take care of business. I’ve seen worse on mass transit; I’m not especially surprised or shocked as much as I’m sorry and shamed]

The pic would have made me famous- but Jesus she’s someone’s daughter.
[All joking aside this is the kind of thing that makes  for millions of hits and montization.  I had the BBerry in hand- she is 50 yards down the platform but an intrepid reporter would have closed the distance and gotten the picture- or better yet the video…. I couldn’t do it. Maybe she was an EDP, maybe she was high- Maybe she just didn’t give a shit; not a distinct possibility as societal norms don’t seem to count for much with someone that size in a sundress. Hell for all I know it was an empowerment exercise.  I had a flash to Thunderdome when Mad Max knocks the helmet off  Blaster and lets the fight go. Then I’m talking on the phone and pacing and had to pause at the scene of the crime like any rube gawking at a train wreck]
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