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The Transgender Bathroom Dilmena

In Did You See This? on August 30, 2016 at 3:22 pm


I’m distressed that there were so many NC legislators obsessed with people pissing that they could pass the “Bathroom Bill” in one day.

My Experience with Trans People is pretty damned limited and I have more stories than almost anyone else i know.

35 years ago, after a burlesque show in New Orleans, despite my attempts to wave her off, my date accepted the suggestion that we head down the street to an after-hours bar with some of the performers. Now mind you, I’d just seen the sexiest strip routine of my limited experience [strip clubs have always escaped me] including the finale where the performer pulled her dick out from wherever she had it tucked and wagged it at us all. We have a few more cocktails and my friend says “I just realized I may be the only woman here” and some sweet young thing next to her at the bar quips “You may be the only woman here born with a pussy”.

30 some years ago, at the end of my drinking, there was a bar that had live music starting at 11-, that I habituated. There was someone there who may or may not have been transgender; my friends certainly thought that she was a he. By that time of night I was 3 sheets to the wind and ready to add a little cosmic dissonance to the world so I would ask her to dance; what did I care? Actually I did care as it drove my macho little buddies nuts.

Maybe 20 years ago, on a scorching day, I’m waiting for an architect on a corner of what used to be a notorious neighborhood which was quickly gentrifying. I kid you not- The Meat Packing District. I’m standing on the corner and this guy, I’d seen around before, is flouncing towards us in a lovely sundress with matching parasol and fuck-me pumps. Actually kind of charging as he had a body that any 165 # wrestler would be proud of. So I make some off-color quip to the little Russian junior engineer whose waiting with me; maybe I said 1’here’s your date”. He turns red, I laugh and then our friend is right up on top of us berating me. “Listen motherfucker, anyone one who looks like you has no business, and I mean no business (look at that gut) making any fucking fun of anyone” It’s game time in one of New York’s roughest neighborhoods, but I’ve been around so I come back with “Your right, your absolutely right. I used to be a swinging dick and look at me now; a fat white man in a suit. What the fuck happened to me?” My buddy steps back, twirls her parasol and says “Well now sugar, how long ago were you a swinging dick? I’m thinking maybe I can help you get some of that back.” Chucks me on the shoulder and walks away as I’m putting my hands up in the Football TD sign.

Five years ago I worked with an Italian guy, short, hairy and bald. We’re still friends, not a guy I’d want to move a refrigerator with but he was ok. Somehow we get to talking about proms and he asks “Have you ever seen my prom picture? I’ll email it.” I open the mail and there is a picture of a cute little dark-haired girl with a big polish looking dude sporting a mullet. I don’t spend too much time on it, I’m thinking maybe he was making a mullet joke. An hour or so later he sends another email “I’m the one in the dress.” Again, game, set match.

This year I’m talking to a friend who’s obviously upset and is reaching out to me, I guess, because I have a gay sibling. She had dropped her daughter off at college, the girl had come home for Thanksgiving and then kind of fallen off the radar. So my 6th grade sweetheart heads down south to see what’s going on and discovers that her daughter is on the way to being her son. Honestly, I laughed and said maybe my kids aren’t such a pain in the ass. I told her about Justin above and how he seems to be pretty well-adjusted for a neurotic writer. We’re talking about a young adult I’ve known and seen around town for 20 something years- hadn’t seen her smile in at least 10. A month or two later I ran into him and his father at the diner. For the first time I can recall he wasn’t in some kind of Goth self-torture rictus ball but standing up tall and smiling.

In the wild and wooly 70s and 80s it was not uncommon for women to get tired of the lady’s room line and crash the men’s room in bars, particularly C&W bars. Depending on how many stalls there were it was not that uncommon to see women drop their drawers, jump up and piss in the sink too- they may still do it, I just haven’t been to many bars for the past 30 years. Lately I’ve seen women crash the men’s room at concerts and sporting events- but I haven’t seen any piss in the sink.

So in 40 plus years of seeing men and women share public restrooms I’ve never seen a rape and any man who chooses to bitch about it gets booed  down pretty quickly by the other men.

And then there’s the meme thing running around the Internet- which basically says I’d be a lot more concerned about the longest-serving Republican speaker of the house being in the same restroom as my son than I am about a man who was born with a vagina.



What We Missed

In Did You See This?, Mobile Updates on August 30, 2016 at 1:59 pm

ColinWe are missing the fundamental disconnect in the Colin Kaeperinick story; that he even considers himself black & consequently set aside, despite being a 1% elite, is a terrible condemnation of the racial divide in America.
Google a picture of Ms. Russo who gave him up for adoption, she’s about as white a white woman as one could find. Then google the Kaepernicks a couple central casting sends over when the scene calls for a Wisconsin couple. We are still carrying that one drop tar baby prejudice deep in our psych and so is he. A few years ago I asked why Halle Berry & Lenny Kravitz are considered black and my brother set me straight- because they get followed around in department stores.

I’m intrigued that the folks, I know, that are rabidly 2A can’t support Colin’s 1A statement.

Drew Diaz

The New Economy

In Did You See This?, Fleshed Out Tweets on May 6, 2016 at 5:58 am

With a daughter who graduated with a pretty good average from a pretty good school how do I explain things? I already explained to a friend who suggested there was an internship at her sisters ad agency- don’t you think you’re limiting your talent pool by only taking on the children of rich people? Christ on a bicycle, every person who ever worked for me was payed for their trouble.

The new economy:
Dating is the process of weeding out whom you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with- ie a probationary year for a new hire.
Friends with benefits, we know a lot of the same people and sometimes are together, but that doesn’t mean we will be together & at best we’ll split the tab- ie Internships.
Fuck buddies, we use each other and nobody has the right to feel abused- ie employment through a temp agency.
One night stands, if there’s nothing better at closing time lets hook up- ie Independent 1099 employees.

There was a time when companies prided themselves on their training programs and fostered advancement now it’s a zero sum game.


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Boys Brains

In Be a Guy, Did You See This?, Mobile Updates on May 2, 2016 at 12:47 pm

I’m a 12 yr old at heart.
59 years old and I see this picture on the sidewall of an out of business store on 7th Ave. out of the corner of my eye.

And it registers.

And I back up and take the photo.
And I post it.
And I snicker.


Quora Test

In Did You See This? on April 27, 2016 at 4:10 pm

I’m having a lot of fun on Quora

My Quora Qraziness

Swiss Army Knife

In Did You See This?, Tool Kit on November 24, 2015 at 10:20 am

  For 90% of the cutting I do a 1/4″ blade would suffice.
A good rule of thumb for knife use is to use the shortest blade that will get the job done- unless you have a small dick you don’t need to pull out a 6 1/2″ blade to cut the tape on a package.

After 50 years of pocket knife carrying I’ve learned

1- you will cut yourself

2- the less blade there is, the less damage done when you make a mistake.

Did this, this afternoon, cutting a cable tie and trying not to cut the cable it was holding.

I just divorced my wife. What should I do?

In Be a Guy, Did You See This?, Mobile Updates on November 23, 2015 at 9:53 am

  • Drink milk directly from the carton.
  • Buy a case of toilet paper and not worry about that for 2 years.
  • Buy a crock pot and learn to use it.
  • Open the medicine chest and stare in amazement at the open shelves.
  • Climb into the shower and luxuriate in how uncluttered it is.
  • Know how sharp the blade in your razor is going to be.
  • Clean fire arms at the kitchen table.
  • Store ammunition in the dining room buffet.
  • Find your clothes in the closet.
  • Store your bicycle in the living room.
  • Control the TV remote- traditionally you should also buy an oversized TV.
  • Sleep with the number of blankets that works for you.
  • Don’t eat Thanksgiving with your AHole in-laws.
  • Make a list of what you want in a relationship- you should already have the “what I won’t put up with” list complete.
  • Date or don’t date.

Look forward to when you are not doing about 1/2 of the items above- because you’re living with someone again.

Hand of a Superhero

In Did You See This? on February 17, 2015 at 12:26 pm


Jesus Weeps- If I can string a lacrosse stick, tie on a fishing lure, repair firearms and build the city of the future I can do this.

I don’t have a 3D printer but i could assemble, adjust or repair these.

“State-of-the-art prosthetic replacements are complicated medical devices, powered by batteries and electronic motors, and they can cost thousands of dollars. Even if children are able to manage the equipment, they grow too quickly to make the investment practical. So most do without, fighting to do with one hand what most of us do with two.

E-nable, an online volunteer organization, aims to change that. Founded in 2013 by Dr. Jon Schull, the group matches children like Dawson in need of prosthetic hands and fingers with volunteers able to make them on 3-D printers. Designs may be downloaded into the machines at no charge, and members who create new models share their software plans freely with others.

The materials for a 3-D-printed prosthetic hand can cost as little as $20 to $50, and some experts say they work just as well, if not better, than much costlier devices. Best of all, boys and girls usually love their D.I.Y. prognostics.”

Before I had children, actually maybe before i married,  I  built a prosthesis lab at HSS. When they moved into the new space they brought hundreds of child sized legs; i thought it was sort of morbid until it was explained that these were units kids had grown out of and were awaiting new users. It was sad.

A little later I did a major security upgrade at the UN where there were pictures of children, who’s appendages had been hacked off, from the Sierra Leone area with bush made prosthesis. I couldn’t get over a child with a piece of inner tube to which a serving spoon had been riveted.

A few years ago I was running a lacrosse clinic. I made a run to 7-11 for a smoke and a coffee and came charging back for the last age group of the day. Grab my stick, step out on the field and I’m inventorying the 1st graders for names on their helmets and equipment. I pause to ask one boy why he only had one glove on and he says “because I only have one hand” as he waves a rubber prosthetic at me…. It was gut wrenching.


Still Alice

In Did You See This? on February 16, 2015 at 5:18 pm


Well I won’t engage in my usual smart-assery and quip that I saw it but can’t remember if I liked it…

A well made and consequently brutal movie…

Moore is convincing as the smartest kid in the room.

Oh and Alec Baldwin has a head the size of a chowder pot

I’m on a project now in a geriatric center  and more than ever I agree with my sentiment I’ll end it first.

Keeping It Real

In Did You See This? on February 5, 2015 at 2:04 pm

From the NYTimes 02/05I’m not much of a “truther” but I do believe that Saudis, including relatives of UBL, were spirited from the country on the only planes to fly in the days after 911 and I have no problem gaming Saudi princes assuaging some “keeping it real” sensibility and bankrolling terrorists.

“”WASHINGTON — A still-classified section of the investigation by congressional intelligence committees into the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks has taken on an almost mythic quality over the past 13 years — 28 pages that examine crucial support given the hijackers and that by all accounts implicate prominent Saudis in financing terrorism.
Now new claims by Zacarias Moussaoui, a convicted former member of Al Qaeda, that he had high-level contact with officials of the Saudi Arabian government in the prelude to Sept. 11 have brought renewed attention to the inquiry’s withheld findings, which lawmakers and relatives of those killed in the attacks have tried unsuccessfully to declassify.
“I think it is the right thing to do,” said Representative Stephen F. Lynch, Democrat of Massachusetts and an author of a bipartisan resolution encouraging President Obama to declassify the section. “Let’s put it out there.”
White House officials say the administration has undertaken a review on whether to release the pages but has no timetable for when they might be made public…..”

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