Be A Guy

Timing is Everything (.1)

In Be a Guy, Thoughtful- Items I'd Like you to Read, Work on August 14, 2011 at 8:22 am

Timing is everything.

You have to pick your audience: 
“That was about the same time I was working at the Whore House.”
“After that I was looking for something warmer and went to work at the Whore House.”

Glasses jump on the table and the vibration rocks the floor as that historic fact lands with a palpable thud.
Pause a moment as your audience tries to digest this tidbit and the ripples subside to add “But I wasn’t a whore, notice I said ‘at’”.

Assure them there was no sampling the wares- not even  in an “eat as much as you want” at the candy factory trope. It was a job.

If you are feeling kind fill them in on the management lessons according to
Warren. The owner- come on, the pimp, procurer and panderer.

If you are feeling unkind say.
“OK should we get going?”
“What are you going to have?”

It will come up again and then you can explain  your other duties and Warren’s unique management advice.

As the nominal doorman, Warren  explained-
“A big guy challenges a drunk. If this isn’t his first visit to a house he will suspect that a guy your size probably has a straight razor and nobody wants to get cut.”
“If things get sharp stand back and call the sheriffs; these whores can take care of themselves.  You haven’t been rushed until a pack of whores gangs up on you and scratches your sorry ass to ribbons- I am familiar with this experience.”
“Ask yourself ‘Who is going to swear out a warrant on a gang of women?’”
On getting along with the other employees, he advised-
“You can be kind of a kid brother or a sexy uncle, by marriage, maybe a “helpful” brother-in-law. You can’t be their Daddy I have got that role covered. I will warn you spend time with one of them and you had better date all of them- They expect Daddy to have a favorite; you’ll just infuriate them if you make a choice.
I’m not going to tell you not to fall in love with a whore. You either will or you won’t. I’m sure you know you don’t defecate where you dine. Technically, I suppose, there may be sexual harassment laws against it now. Come to think of it as the only male employee you might just be considered management”

Image via Wikipedia

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